Alysha Newman Hits the Gym!

Some Olympians win gold. Others break records. But true legends? They leave their mark by twerking at the Olympics. Enter Alysha Newman, Canada’s maple syrup-fueled pole vaulting queen, who took athletic excellence to new heights—both literally and booty-graphically.

Now, before you say, "Twerking at the Olympics? That's inappropriate! What about the kids tuning in to support their country"—yes, it absolutely is. But so is curling, and we still let Canada send teams for that.

Alysha’s dedication to the sport is undeniable. She trains relentlessly, fueled by 100% pure maple syrup straight from the tap, just out there sucking trees harder than she sucks in her exclusive content feed.

You know she’s Canadian because she says “Eh” mid-rep and apologizes to the weights before dropping them. Sorry.

She posted some gym content showing off abs that could cut through a block of frozen poutine.

Between training sessions, she graces exclusive content platforms—because why limit the world to just her Olympic talent when she can also showcase her off-the-track assets? Her sponsors don't seem to care.

Clearly, she is inspiration that it is time to make Canada the 51st state. The state dance should be Alysha’s Olympic twerk, since it's the most important thing Canada has done in sports since tonight's Hockey Game loss.

Here she is in the gym:

Here she is in the cold pool and sauna in the event you missed it: