Pet Monkey of Texas Football Coach Jeff Banks’ Girlfriend Allegedly Bit a Trick-or-Treater

There's a lot to unpack here...  If the headline sounds like a Jerry Springer headline there's a good reason for that.

Let's start from the beginning with a lot of allegedly sprinkled in there.  Texas special teams coach Jeff Banks allegedly left his wife and kids for a stripper named Pole Assassin.

Pole Assassin, who may or may not still be a stripper, once appeared on Jerry Springer.  She has a monkey named Gia that she incorporated into her act.

🤣😂You CAN NOT make this 💩 up!!!!😂🤣

The Longhorns just hired Jeff Banks who left his wife and kids to be with a stripper named Pole Assassin who has been on Jerry Springer and has a pet monkey who is a part of her stripping act!🤣😂

Which ‘Core Value’ is this again!?🤣😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/h4tujmTfQn

— Gig’Em Aggies! 👍 (@MottThunder2) January 15, 2021

That monkey allegedly bit a trick-or-treater on Halloween.

I'm hearing a repot from a credible source that Texas Longhorns Special Teams Coach Jeff Banks' monkey allegedly attacked and seriously hurt a young Trick-or-Treater last night on Halloween.

The monkey's jaws apparently had to be pried off the small child.

— Tom Campbell (@thomasgcampbell) November 1, 2021

Seems like a very random tweet, but Banks' girlfriend seems to confirm it in a tweet from her now deleted Twitter account.

A 11 /12 year old child should know better then to enter someone yard without permission and old enough to also follow the rules . The rules were when u get to the gate turn around and come back out for candy every other parent and child did so !

Texas might finally be back!  This is an incredible story.  I love absolutely everything about it.  It sounds to me like we need another trip to Jerry Springer.